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luke1995fg

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luke1995fg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1479
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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luke1995fg's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years asked my dad if he could marry me, and my dad agreed. He then tells me that he's not going to propose for maybe another year at least, he "just wanted to get that out of the way." FML

#18610596
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23874) - you deserved it (2845)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML

#18608467
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21019) - you deserved it (2376)

On 12/25/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

#18593326
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24122) - you deserved it (11765)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

#18588984
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23246) - you deserved it (4016)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML

#18585718
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20967) - you deserved it (6918)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by badidea - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML

#18561778
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14640) - you deserved it (20323)

On 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm - kids - by imamomma - United States

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

#18547813
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9138) - you deserved it (56061)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

#18542625
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26864) - you deserved it (11846)

On 12/18/2011 at 5:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

#18542050
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44750) - you deserved it (1985)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

#18534964
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28479) - you deserved it (5530) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/17/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by espylone - France

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

#18525821
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33426) - you deserved it (5995)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:50am - misc - by Brit - Reserved

Today, my dad took me to the 'Super Butcher'. It's basically a warehouse turned into a giant, walk-in meat freezer, complete with headless pig carcasses. I'm a vegetarian. FML

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46340) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

#18378519
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20565) - you deserved it (4579)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26969) - you deserved it (8367)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved



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