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luke1995fg

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luke1995fg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1469
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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luke1995fg's favorite FMLs

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

#20562346
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64560) - you deserved it (9731)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

#20547294
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26458) - you deserved it (47549)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36370) - you deserved it (4347)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75770) - you deserved it (23120)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

#20418722
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33460) - you deserved it (11259)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by selfishsexysanta (woman) - United States

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36619) - you deserved it (11379)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

#19335521
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24642) - you deserved it (5196)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML

#19305643
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8328) - you deserved it (41525)

On 03/19/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by ari - United States

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

#19279551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28855) - you deserved it (1790)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, someone caused over $400 worth of damage by breaking into my car, just to steal $8 worth of beer. FML

#19182487
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24143) - you deserved it (2593)

On 02/28/2012 at 2:41pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8722) - you deserved it (30705)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19107) - you deserved it (6133)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML

#19103032
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (5778)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:04pm - love - by Mel Ancholy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML

#19098122
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17944) - you deserved it (1938)

On 02/17/2012 at 1:22am - work - by Christinemh329 - United States

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

#19093688
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (4239)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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