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luke1995fg

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luke1995fg

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  • Number of visits : 1659
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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luke1995fg's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58021) - you deserved it (13033)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53949) - you deserved it (5637)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

#20562346
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67845) - you deserved it (10158)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

#20547294
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28129) - you deserved it (49219)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40414) - you deserved it (4803)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79878) - you deserved it (24529)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

#20418722
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37461) - you deserved it (12415)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by selfishsexysanta (woman) - United States

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39342) - you deserved it (12170)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

#19335521
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25795) - you deserved it (5389)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML

#19305643
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10118) - you deserved it (46552)

On 03/19/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by ari - United States

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

#19279551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33759) - you deserved it (2440)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, someone caused over $400 worth of damage by breaking into my car, just to steal $8 worth of beer. FML

#19182487
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26689) - you deserved it (2813)

On 02/28/2012 at 2:41pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9344) - you deserved it (32499)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (6557)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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