Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lucymalfoy

Search for a member

lucymalfoy
  • Town/Country : Saint Augustine, USa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 August 1985 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 996
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

lucymalfoy's last visitors

Tikwichkajenniferhill

lucymalfoy's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

lucymalfoy's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to prove to my dad that he snores by secretly putting a tape recorder under his bed. I soon found out my parents had sex that night. Apparently, my mom likes to talk dirty. FML

#272262
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (85179)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Zack (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

#267368
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21825) - you deserved it (71785)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by theassman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

#260982
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26880) - you deserved it (83100)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was babysitting an eleven year old boy. He decided we should play with nerf guns with velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck on his pants wiggling for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML

#256188
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42048) - you deserved it (11211)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - kids - by xoVioLoveox (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: