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Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52932) - you deserved it (7572)
On 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15802) - you deserved it (58303)
On 04/04/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by bezoar10 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15802) - you deserved it (58303)
On 04/04/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by bezoar10 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13692) - you deserved it (109718)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt - United States (New York)
Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25430) - you deserved it (66475)
On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76865) - you deserved it (13476)
On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)
Today, the girl I've had a crush on forever asked me why the pin on my Letterman jacket had two guys doing it. I told her it was for participating in a wrestling tournament. And she responded, "Oh I thought you were finally coming out of the closet!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51924) - you deserved it (5077)
On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by Seanzy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (66444)
On 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm - love - by WeezysBaby (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113812) - you deserved it (8494)
On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27186) - you deserved it (55241)
On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8597) - you deserved it (58646)
On 03/13/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got a $200 ticket mailed to me for drunk driving in Maryland. I have never been pulled over for drunk driving and I have never been to Maryland. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78623) - you deserved it (2854)
On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - money - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12671) - you deserved it (56539)
On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48114) - you deserved it (25129)
On 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)
Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26368) - you deserved it (59670)
On 03/11/2009 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by SoggyPancakes (man) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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