lucymalfoy

Search for a member

lucymalfoy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 August 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1596
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

lucymalfoy's page activity

Visits<b>Tikwichka</b> - the 04/29/2010 at 1:49pm<b>jenniferhill</b> - the 04/22/2010 at 8:19pm

lucymalfoy's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

lucymalfoy's favorite FMLs

Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML

by bezoar10 / 04/04/2009 at 3:36pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML

by bezoar10 / 04/04/2009 at 3:36pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

by ohshittttttt / 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

by GrandmasWhore / 04/04/2009 at 1:59am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

by highleyj / 04/01/2009 at 4:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl I've had a crush on forever asked me why the pin on my Letterman jacket had two guys doing it. I told her it was for participating in a wrestling tournament. And she responded, "Oh I thought you were finally coming out of the closet!" FML

by Seanzy / 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

by WeezysBaby / 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 1:08am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

by DanniRae / 03/13/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 1:03am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a $200 ticket mailed to me for drunk driving in Maryland. I have never been pulled over for drunk driving and I have never been to Maryland. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

by Jaeda / 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML

by SoggyPancakes / 03/11/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy