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lucymalfoy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 August 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1193
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lucymalfoy's page activity

Visits<b>Tikwichka</b> - the 04/29/2010 at 1:49pm<b>jenniferhill</b> - the 04/22/2010 at 8:19pm

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lucymalfoy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was crocheting while watching television, and thinking to myself how proud I was that I taught myself to crochet. Then, an episode of Golden Girls came on, and I watched that while I crocheted. I'm 24. FML

#1221621
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25436) - you deserved it (36978)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

#1216393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51521) - you deserved it (8614)

On 04/22/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by fencernick (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML

#1189537
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60722) - you deserved it (2995)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:11am - work - by laxguy23 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML

#1187689
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54386) - you deserved it (17976)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:52am - misc - by Kaboom (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML

#1056544
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58137) - you deserved it (6644)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

#1040917
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45469) - you deserved it (21151)

On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found my phone under the car seat after three days. I flipped it open ready to issue apologies to everyone who had tried to get in touch with me and I had worried. No missed calls. FML

#1027558
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71330) - you deserved it (9414)

On 04/16/2009 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12488) - you deserved it (69283)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

#1018681
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15007) - you deserved it (126039)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

#1014149
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98791) - you deserved it (15026)

On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

#1002619
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79537) - you deserved it (6555)

On 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

#948871
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98916) - you deserved it (23130)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

#918397
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72969) - you deserved it (18928)

On 04/11/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

#918397
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72969) - you deserved it (18928)

On 04/11/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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