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luckyno1

Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 4:33am) | Search for a member

luckyno1

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  • Number of visits : 287
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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luckyno1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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luckyno1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46137) - you deserved it (6773)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43201) - you deserved it (3239)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18309) - you deserved it (37066)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25254) - you deserved it (19939)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32765) - you deserved it (9213)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19914) - you deserved it (43693)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML

#17829441
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30270) - you deserved it (4575)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17827987
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40036) - you deserved it (3221)

On 09/25/2011 at 6:26am - love - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23912) - you deserved it (14784)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54863) - you deserved it (5409)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31359) - you deserved it (5438)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

#17359587
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40030) - you deserved it (3853)

On 08/03/2011 at 9:19pm - animals - by roze198765 - United States

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31922) - you deserved it (2897)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11684) - you deserved it (65480)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML

#17221659
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30051) - you deserved it (10675) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/22/2011 at 8:52pm - money - by zerom - France



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