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luc887's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML
by fnfantastic / 11/04/2012 at 11:37am / United States (Indiana) / Money
Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML
by screwed / 11/04/2012 at 4:55am / United States / Intimacy
by bigbum / 11/04/2012 at 4:50am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by Chuffy / 11/04/2012 at 2:28am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML
by markderanjer / 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Love
Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML
by WeddingWoes / 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by hiccups / 11/03/2012 at 11:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 9:50am / United States / Miscellaneous
by heartbroke / 11/03/2012 at 6:02am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
by Midnightpearls / 11/02/2012 at 11:39am / United States / Health
Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML
by whytetrash / 11/02/2012 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by 123alleyesonme / 11/02/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Love
by ThisisMedSchool / 11/01/2012 at 5:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…