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luc887's favorite FMLs
by alicia / 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by mahanaaa_23 / 12/19/2012 at 3:47pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love
Today, the girl I dumped three years ago because she wouldn't take my band seriously is now a successful and rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile, I'm still unemployed, living with my parents, and can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML
by rightinthekarma / 12/19/2012 at 10:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by spellbound / 12/19/2012 at 9:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML
by junkie / 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML
by daughterinlaw / 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/18/2012 at 2:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
by James / 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by kidyounot / 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Sarah / 12/17/2012 at 7:25am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my "friends" set me up on a blind date with a guy who according to their description, sounded perfect in just about every way. He turned out to be my obsessive ex, and this is their idea of a funny prank. FML
by lovelychris / 12/16/2012 at 2:15pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Love
by emchocolat / 12/16/2012 at 11:55am / Europe / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML
by oh gee, you don't say / 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Miscellaneous
by teejayrn / 12/15/2012 at 6:48am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…