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luc887's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Why? / 03/05/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
by actually just constipated.. and stupid / 03/04/2015 at 10:03am / Tunisia / Health
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
by Highnapple / 03/04/2015 at 2:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by notdrivinganytimesoon / 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a call from a potential employer. They spent five minutes explaining job duties and I listened with anticipation. Then they spent five minutes explaining why I wasn't the right person for the job. FML
by Kali / 03/03/2015 at 7:28pm / United States (California) / Work
by Ouch / 02/27/2015 at 9:25pm / Hong Kong / Health
by confused / 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML
by lilipalmer / 02/13/2015 at 1:44am / France / Love
Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML
by assholedad / 02/11/2015 at 4:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by irwingiggles / 02/08/2015 at 5:26am / Netherlands / Health
by ZAnon / 02/06/2015 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML
by MIB thingy please... / 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by No thank you / 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy