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luc887's favorite FMLs
Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML
by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 1:08pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy
by msleea / 05/06/2015 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Love
by baby_trex_arms / 05/05/2015 at 11:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a guy at work told me I look like a famous celebrity. I was flattered, until he remembered the celebrity's name: Steve Buscemi. That wouldn't be a compliment, even if I weren't a 24-year-old woman. FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2015 at 11:55am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML
by fatty / 04/28/2015 at 9:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by full bladder / 04/28/2015 at 6:39pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by Junkiegamer / 04/27/2015 at 10:20am / United States (Texas) / Love
by fuck you / 04/26/2015 at 4:19am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love
by RBergman / 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my husband told me he doesn't see the point in trying anymore, and that he no longer loves me. I was devastated. He stayed on the couch while I went to bed. Ten minutes later, he said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep." and asked me to shut up. FML
by topaz23 / 04/16/2015 at 12:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Drill Drilled / 04/15/2015 at 6:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by blemarooney / 04/14/2015 at 11:49am / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/14/2015 at 3:21am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Love
- Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided… Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today, we were given an essay topic in English. The assignment involves us picking a politician by…
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s…