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luc887's favorite FMLs
Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML
by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 7:44am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 3:13pm / United States (Nevada) / Transportation
Today, I called my boss to ask if my paycheck had been deposited yet. He said no, that my grandmother came in to work and picked it up. Confused, I called her. She is holding it ransom until I start calling home every day. I do, but she gets so drunk, she doesn't remember. FML
by kitkat1740 / 11/16/2015 at 7:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by SadIndianLife / 11/15/2015 at 4:00pm / India (Delhi) / Love
by lauziej93 / 11/10/2015 at 4:24am / Spain (La Rioja) / Work
Today, at a bar, I overheard two attractive men speaking in French. I went over and tried to introduce myself with what little French I know. They looked at me like I was crazy and then said in English, "What are you doing?" Turns out they weren't speaking French. FML
by TwirlyWhirl / 11/09/2015 at 3:17am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/08/2015 at 1:15am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by dBLIZZARD / 11/04/2015 at 10:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML
by nocongratsneeded / 11/03/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by MG73 / 11/01/2015 at 11:16pm / United States (Maine) / Love
by feeling single / 10/28/2015 at 3:48pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML
by Congrats? / 10/27/2015 at 11:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by shakira, when the walls fell / 10/23/2015 at 2:56pm / Canada / Love
Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML
by Oli974 / 10/22/2015 at 9:08am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Work
by kaitiem224 / 10/21/2015 at 10:52pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk…