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luc887's favorite FMLs
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by wow / 11/02/2014 at 10:23am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by AnonymousAmber / 10/31/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 8:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 10:10am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML
by too good / 10/24/2014 at 6:54am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
by Sansa / 10/22/2014 at 5:30pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Love
by team hit bella with a car / 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by whywouldyoudothat / 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by thanks babe / 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm / United Kingdom (Shropshire) / Love
Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML
by Tampax / 09/30/2014 at 2:46pm / Spain (Castilla-La Mancha) / Health
Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML
by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I hid in the bathroom of a Starbucks as a tornado completely flattened the building around… Today, I decided to sink low enough to sign up for one of those 'get paid for taking a survey site'… Today, I'm sick. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't leaving for college in three days, and…