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ltaviuni's favorite FMLs
Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML
by anonymous / 01/05/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Transportation
Today, both my car and my father's car were broken into. They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, and multiple items of clothing. What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2013 at 12:54am / United States / Transportation
Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML
by VampObsessed / 01/05/2013 at 12:30am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML
by anonymous / 01/03/2013 at 5:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 5:30am / United States (Kansas) / Health
by _The__Doctor_ / 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
by shattysituation / 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Work
by aelia_oups / 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm / Miscellaneous
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