About lowshadows : May the Father of Understanding guide you.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53997) - you deserved it (4541)
On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42880) - you deserved it (6018)
Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11748) - you deserved it (47823)
On 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm - work - by Joel - United States (California)
Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27782) - you deserved it (8841)
On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)
Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22796) - you deserved it (5777)
On 07/19/2010 at 9:59am - kids - by Cody (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24897) - you deserved it (5492)
On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10263) - you deserved it (25842)
On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was watching Pokémon with my daughter when she told me that I reminded her of her favorite Pokémon. Feeling good about it, I asked which one. She pointed to the screen and said "Snorlax!" The fat and lazy one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (5711)
On 11/15/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by dessaye (woman) - Singapore
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24948) - you deserved it (6614)
On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (6405)
On 10/10/2009 at 8:30pm - kids - by Jer (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5922) - you deserved it (50413)
On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26743) - you deserved it (2459)
On 10/02/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by greeenbean (woman) - Samoa
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (2767)
On 09/30/2009 at 1:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, there was a traffic accident on the highway which I normally take. I couldn't resist laughing at the driver since he was stupid enough to rear-end someone on the highway. What I didn't realize is that I forgot to pay attention to the road and rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2946) - you deserved it (50901)
On 09/26/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by scarlet5000 (man) - United States
Today, I finally agreed to the threesome that my husband has been trying to persuade me to have. We arranged it with my hot best friend, thinking I would be more comfortable with her. I ended up lying naked beside them, watching them have fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10059) - you deserved it (23697)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:25am - intimacy - by wallflower (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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