About lowshadows : May the Father of Understanding guide you.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28043) - you deserved it (2018)
On 07/07/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Jessica - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14783) - you deserved it (69236)
On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34739) - you deserved it (1941)
On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, my boss fired me for dating a co-worker. There's no policy forbidding it; he just thought it was unfair that I could get with the "hottest girl who works here" but he can't. I live in an at-will employment state. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22839) - you deserved it (2092)
On 07/03/2011 at 12:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28998) - you deserved it (3530)
On 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, while making love, he farted. And blamed it on his dog, who wasn't even in the room. The smell alone could have killed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30248) - you deserved it (4350)
On 06/29/2011 at 1:13am - intimacy - by crazy_bitch122 - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend tried to climb up to my third story window in the early hours of the morning. Just before he got to the top, he slipped and fell to the ground. My dad had to drive him to the hospital at 3am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25020) - you deserved it (5283)
On 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29082) - you deserved it (7370)
Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9986) - you deserved it (152252)
On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States
Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (4076)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (47670)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31659) - you deserved it (3310)
On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28308) - you deserved it (13112)
On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27268) - you deserved it (12351)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States
Today, I watched Free Willy with my daughter. Later on she decided to free her 6 pet mice into the house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22171) - you deserved it (5983)
On 04/18/2011 at 8:48pm - kids - by Jukka -
Friday 24 May 2013
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