About lowshadows : May the Father of Understanding guide you.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12555) - you deserved it (38891)
On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5736) - you deserved it (52624)
On 08/27/2011 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7069) - you deserved it (69297) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I found out that my engagement ring was actually my husband's ex-fiancée's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24515) - you deserved it (2426)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:29pm - love - by llord - United States
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23202) - you deserved it (4128)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49670) - you deserved it (5247)
On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)
Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24428) - you deserved it (6015)
On 08/20/2011 at 10:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22172) - you deserved it (6813)
On 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33178) - you deserved it (3009)
On 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by -_- - United States
Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21263) - you deserved it (3692)
On 08/11/2011 at 4:45am - kids - by IRum (man) - Russian Federation
Today, while cleaning the bathroom in a suite at the hotel I work at, I heard a couple come in, and then a marriage proposal. She said no, that she had been seeing someone else and left the room. I was then alone in the bathroom, listening to a grown man sob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32717) - you deserved it (2812)
On 08/09/2011 at 3:35am - work - by smurfpoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23415) - you deserved it (2002)
On 07/12/2011 at 9:34am - misc - by Ghettogirl4life - United States (Arizona)
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23415) - you deserved it (2002)
On 07/12/2011 at 9:34am - misc - by Ghettogirl4life - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34349) - you deserved it (4782)
On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)
I agree, your life sucks (30339) - you deserved it (3378)
On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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