About lowshadows : May the Father of Understanding guide you.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54541) - you deserved it (9166)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40630) - you deserved it (4301)
On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30194) - you deserved it (6125)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45187) - you deserved it (3465)
On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20847) - you deserved it (2576)
On 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by killme (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8539) - you deserved it (16096)
On 10/29/2012 at 2:10pm - kids - by JiggaJayZ - United States
Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5120) - you deserved it (33447)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17815) - you deserved it (3333)
On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11771) - you deserved it (1963)
On 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm - kids - by laststand11 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10106) - you deserved it (30027)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States
Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22392) - you deserved it (5501)
On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States
Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22392) - you deserved it (5501)
On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47486) - you deserved it (6145)
On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29904) - you deserved it (5781)
On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States
Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12134) - you deserved it (24146)
On 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved
Monday 20 May 2013
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