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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21397) - you deserved it (4320)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States
Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9366) - you deserved it (29040)
On 03/07/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (5327)
On 10/05/2011 at 7:48pm - misc - by Pookaa (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML
I agree, your life sucks (23826) - you deserved it (2089)
On 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm - kids - by jesus christ - United States
Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28442) - you deserved it (8521)
On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16116) - you deserved it (32334)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30666) - you deserved it (2348)
On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9854) - you deserved it (43828)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30156) - you deserved it (24878)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, in gym class, we were forced to learn the "Hoedown Throwdown" dance, by Miley Cyrus. This will actually be counted toward my grade. I'm in high school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32145) - you deserved it (3557)
On 01/06/2011 at 5:57pm - misc - by UltraHoe69 - United States
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35519) - you deserved it (6922)
On 12/29/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by ihateteenagers (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33343) - you deserved it (14883)
On 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by juli (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6025) - you deserved it (43496)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34491) - you deserved it (20372)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66217) - you deserved it (8186)
On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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