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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I realized that before I can legally drink, I will have been married, divorced, and pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10116) - you deserved it (53584)
On 12/05/2010 at 12:04pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17887) - you deserved it (8167)
On 11/27/2010 at 8:03pm - kids - by lovedbyallthewrongppl - United States (Michigan)
Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6542) - you deserved it (16178)
On 11/09/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22617) - you deserved it (3800)
On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)
Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23883) - you deserved it (7944)
On 11/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by nk (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30443) - you deserved it (7342)
On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States
Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated-looking my chest has become and how she only wants to help. Except that I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26023) - you deserved it (1488)
On 03/09/2010 at 3:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I'm in Mexico and am supposed to be skydiving for my Christmas gift. Instead, I'm coming out of the hospital with x-rays, an ankle splint, and a $800 bill because I fell on the bottom step of a flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15527) - you deserved it (2307)
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61241) - you deserved it (2882)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26328) - you deserved it (2531)
On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19057) - you deserved it (4962)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50609) - you deserved it (2537)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32979) - you deserved it (2597)
On 08/21/2009 at 4:17pm - health - by FilthyIke (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52324) - you deserved it (26555)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66779) - you deserved it (2431)
On 06/25/2009 at 4:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
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