lottiebearx

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lottiebearx

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 October 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2099
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lottiebearx : ohai. :)

lottiebearx's page activity

Visits<b>sxdryv</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:34am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 4:27am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 10:34am<b>Flippier999</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 12:31am<b>Tthug</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:43pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 9:09pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 8:51am<b>RufusBarbarossa</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 6:05pm<b>Sudoc</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 1:18am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 3:36pm<b>XcuzimsotiredX</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:06pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 9:16pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:39am<b>itzypedia</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 9:55pm<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 9:31am<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 4:47pm<b>DemolitionLovers</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:56am<b>cupcakewarrior_</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 7:43am

Fucked!<b>sxdryv</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:05pm

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lottiebearx's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

by -_- / 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

by parkertownparadise / 02/16/2012 at 2:43am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

by GingerJ / 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, my neighbours kicked my football back over the fence. They'd slashed it and taped a note to the remains that said, "Do it again and it'll be your face." Now I'm scared to play football in my own backyard. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2011 at 8:25pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

by Jace / 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Love

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

by BadgerSpirit / 04/27/2011 at 9:35am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

by cdn_steed / 04/23/2011 at 9:11am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

by Toothy / 04/02/2011 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

by Embarrassed / 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm / Intimacy

Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML

by lonelyengineer / 12/19/2010 at 5:28am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Love

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

by sissydlk / 12/02/2010 at 10:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

by mrdentist / 12/02/2010 at 8:20am / Love

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy