lottiebearx

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lottiebearx

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 October 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1816
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lottiebearx : ohai. :)

lottiebearx's page activity

Visits<b>sxdryv</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:34am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 4:27am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 10:34am<b>Flippier999</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 12:31am<b>Tthug</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:43pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 9:09pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 8:51am<b>RufusBarbarossa</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 6:05pm<b>Sudoc</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 1:18am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 3:36pm<b>XcuzimsotiredX</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:06pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 9:16pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:39am<b>itzypedia</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 9:55pm<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 9:31am<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 4:47pm<b>DemolitionLovers</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:56am<b>cupcakewarrior_</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 7:43am

Fucked!<b>sxdryv</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:05pm

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lottiebearx's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

by Ciara / 06/11/2012 at 4:44pm / Ireland (Cork) / Health

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

by Rohirus / 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm / Sweden / Miscellaneous

Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML

by facepalm / 06/05/2012 at 10:48am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 3:03pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping, and tried on a skirt that was a size smaller than usual, thinking that I would fit in. Not only did it not fit, neither I nor the sales assistant could get it off me, because the zip got stuck. She had to cut me out of it. FML

by LtlCheeseburger / 05/31/2012 at 2:15pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 6:22am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML

by wtf / 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

by Brax / 05/30/2012 at 5:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML

by Broon / 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Transportation

Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML

by Notasinner / 05/24/2012 at 6:39pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML

by Notasinner / 05/24/2012 at 6:39pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I went to see a once-in-a-lifetime moment when the Olympic torch passed through my town. I waited for 3 hours only to get a bruise from a man shoving me out of the way at the exact moment it went past. FML

by Notorch / 05/23/2012 at 11:53am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Miscellaneous