lottiebearx

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lottiebearx

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 October 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2107
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lottiebearx : ohai. :)

lottiebearx's page activity

Visits<b>sxdryv</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:34am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 4:27am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 10:34am<b>Flippier999</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 12:31am<b>Tthug</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:43pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 9:09pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 8:51am<b>RufusBarbarossa</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 6:05pm<b>Sudoc</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 1:18am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 3:36pm<b>XcuzimsotiredX</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:06pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 9:16pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:39am<b>itzypedia</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 9:55pm<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 9:31am<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 4:47pm<b>DemolitionLovers</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:56am<b>cupcakewarrior_</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 7:43am

Fucked!<b>sxdryv</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:05pm

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lottiebearx's favorite FMLs

Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML

by Bethany / 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:29am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:33am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML

by bitchimgay / 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, some friends told me that my natural body odor smells like cooked beef and roasted onions. I'm disgustingly delicious. FML

by hungry? / 07/22/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

by pissed off / 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm / Animals

Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML

by fired / 06/27/2012 at 4:48pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed that my son only really looks like me when he's straining to take a dump. FML

by Gremlin / 06/23/2012 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Kids

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time. Their justification for giving me up for adoption was that I wasn't conceived at the ideal time for them. Apparently, the ideal time was six months after the adoption, when they conceived the first of my two brothers. FML

by pon-3 / 06/22/2012 at 5:13pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

by hakura madada / 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband has decided to grow a mullet. FML

by flyingpuppy / 06/17/2012 at 2:33am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Health

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love