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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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lottiebearx

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lottiebearx
  • Town/Country : Canterbury, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 October 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 312
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lottiebearx : ohai. :)

lottiebearx's last visitors

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lottiebearx's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

lottiebearx's favorite FMLs

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (23279) - you deserved it (3051)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

#15598918 (345)

I agree, your life sucks (27057) - you deserved it (32810)

On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sat on by an obese woman. After screaming and squirming, she decided to notice me. Not until after she'd let out a fart. FML

#14067525 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (26584) - you deserved it (2372)

On 12/03/2010 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (25444) - you deserved it (7152)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (49474) - you deserved it (3491)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (44791) - you deserved it (7788)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

#13711659 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (25455) - you deserved it (11601)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

#12818513 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (7753) - you deserved it (21616)

On 08/30/2010 at 6:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Oman (Masqat)

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

#7327213 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (4661) - you deserved it (23907)

On 01/13/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by nekkiddrunk - United States

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (7583) - you deserved it (33650)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (34136) - you deserved it (2117)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML

#2110386 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (34955) - you deserved it (9659)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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