Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lotrgeek

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

lotrgeek

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 675
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

About lotrgeek : It makes me feel better about me to read other people's FMLs... FML.

lotrgeek's page activity

Visits<b>Qiuakii</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:28am<b>NakMuayAdam</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 4:21am<b>terco100</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 6:11pm<b>killuminatirebel</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 1:08am<b>kmack1996</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 12:55pm<b>hihello18</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 10:45pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 10:07pm<b>cherrylove45</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 6:37am<b>HyperFUSE</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 8:53am<b>CTPope74</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:04pm<b>maxsing</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 9:11pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 8:21am<b>doctorwho1013</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 3:27pm<b>shastaxo</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 6:34pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 2:08pm<b>anonymous248</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 5:53pm<b>Snackycake</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 11:32am<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 2:58pm

lotrgeek's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of lotrgeek's badges

lotrgeek's favorite FMLs

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56711) - you deserved it (5512)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55410) - you deserved it (9854)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28079) - you deserved it (5349)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16366) - you deserved it (34046)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (2082)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26028) - you deserved it (12373)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47125) - you deserved it (4368)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML

#19556007
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37939) - you deserved it (6643)

On 04/30/2012 at 11:01pm - intimacy - by lowlife123 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13068) - you deserved it (54050) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14484) - you deserved it (34381)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

#19246597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24285) - you deserved it (2204)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32041) - you deserved it (6165)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40844) - you deserved it (5488)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8426) - you deserved it (38104)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I watched Paranormal Activity which is known to be the scariest film ever. After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML

#6436100
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11765) - you deserved it (30398)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:45pm - animals - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: