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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24518) - you deserved it (4521)
On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12187) - you deserved it (4072)
On 09/28/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by emilyhendrix0414 - United States
Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13458) - you deserved it (21307)
On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18752) - you deserved it (198)
On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)
Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14416) - you deserved it (5405) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4878) - you deserved it (3134)
On 09/26/2012 at 10:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13640) - you deserved it (1625)
On 09/26/2012 at 5:06am - love - by Popscene (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11146) - you deserved it (19316)
On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States
Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12832) - you deserved it (3770)
On 09/24/2012 at 3:35pm - work - by martinaaah - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17532) - you deserved it (1833)
On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18531) - you deserved it (8110)
On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7512) - you deserved it (12459)
On 09/22/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by pimpdaddyX (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15639) - you deserved it (1219)
On 09/22/2012 at 3:29am - misc - by ak_6694 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4927) - you deserved it (38775)
On 09/22/2012 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21714) - you deserved it (4926) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Friday 24 May 2013
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