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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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lostfaithinpppl

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lostfaithinpppl
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2549
  • Number of comments : 674
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lostfaithinpppl's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408 (348)

I agree, your life sucks (15417) - you deserved it (44141)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why being with a girl while being with me is cheating. FML

#15985772 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (29431) - you deserved it (5452)

On 04/30/2011 at 1:06am - love - by Imrickar - United States

Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML

#15705121 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (13889) - you deserved it (20064)

On 04/09/2011 at 3:52am - misc - by 2classicNot2 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (21010) - you deserved it (5980)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

#13998291 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (21828) - you deserved it (9512)

On 11/27/2010 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the store to buy a new lego set, only to find there weren't any left in stock. I started crying before I could make it out of the store. Oh, and I'm eighteen. FML

#8248390 (310)

I agree, your life sucks (5856) - you deserved it (27582)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:43pm - misc - by Tibblesthepengwin (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML

#8140774 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (3655) - you deserved it (18080)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by SummersEve (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (8554) - you deserved it (15700)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

#7698820 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (7621) - you deserved it (22549)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I woke up to see that I had two black eyes from a cheerleading stunt gone wrong yesterday. I decided to curl my hair to distract from them. While curling my hair I accidentally burned my cheek. I now have two black eyes and a huge burn on my cheek. My extended family is coming tomorrow. FML

#6926304 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (15012) - you deserved it (4760)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year old guy. FML

#6763164 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (4951) - you deserved it (19372)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by wjones (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (12367) - you deserved it (19238)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor took out a restraining order against me. She told the cops that for the last week, I've been standing in my yard looking at her though her bedroom window. It's my blow up Santa in the yard, not me. FML

#6637794 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (1540)

On 12/06/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML

#6366534 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (27200) - you deserved it (2262)

On 11/19/2009 at 8:36am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (5501) - you deserved it (17608)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)