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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today , I had a pretty big erectionhile getting checked out at the airport . The security guard was scanning mah potentially "dangerous" erection 4 at least one long minute in front of mah wife , kids , an 20 people behind me . FML
yesterday I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter frst. When I got to the interview I got a werd look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
Today, I ad an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer . I apparently signd papers allowing an intern to do it fir practice . Se was in er early 20s and smoking ot so as se was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection . FML
Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to mah sons 3rd grade class . Tomorrow mah son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him . That won't be happening because Hoppers hoppd out mah 5th story window . FML
yesterday was ma birtday. My friends love to play pranks on me. Soen I entered te door fir ma surprise party, I became aware of te surroundings. Tere was noting. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered te room. Wen I closed te door beind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML
Today, mah boyfriend, and best friend, had bakd a cake, and looool wouldnt tell anyoneho it was for. When I askd he said I'd know soon. He met me after class to break up with me and offerd me the cake to make me feel better. big fat FML
Today, I cummed home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read ( Because you can't find a real girl, I made yur current one prettier, Love Mom. ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015