Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

loser

Search for a member

loser

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 October 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 110852
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About loser : I'm a loser

loser's page activity

Visits<b>wondercat40</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:06pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 7:20pm<b>loeramariah</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 11:15pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 2:16pm<b>gudnylol</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 10:47am<b>iam808014</b> - the 02/08/2011 at 2:10pm<b>Twinmill</b> - the 12/18/2009 at 11:29pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 12/02/2009 at 11:47am<b>Meizlizard</b> - the 11/01/2009 at 3:01pm<b>chveya</b> - the 10/19/2009 at 10:11pm<b>bunnyy</b> - the 10/11/2009 at 4:53am<b>mari0958</b> - the 08/14/2009 at 7:07pm<b>jdisher</b> - the 07/02/2009 at 7:06pm<b>blacktiger123</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 2:45pm<b>hoshica</b> - the 06/04/2009 at 3:46pm<b>pyromaniac239</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 12:14pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 11:49am<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 11:16am

loser's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

loser's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42636) - you deserved it (192045)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML

#399721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53784) - you deserved it (29602)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by kaichennnxx (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML

#399721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53784) - you deserved it (29602)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by kaichennnxx (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53151) - you deserved it (31907)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

#350139
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72790) - you deserved it (27247)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

#285039
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16178) - you deserved it (65431)

On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

#284763
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63366) - you deserved it (21366)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33193) - you deserved it (96766)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54161) - you deserved it (314023)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was running late for work so instead of walking the ten minutes to the office, I took a taxi. The driver took the opportunity to share the story of his first sexual experience with a man. In great detail. FML

#279644
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85797) - you deserved it (13521)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:06am - intimacy - by Noname - Philippines (Cebu City)

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

#278978
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72955) - you deserved it (10360)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by MoneyMike (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

#278861
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22668) - you deserved it (73312)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52373) - you deserved it (98197)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML

#278684
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79720) - you deserved it (4936)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by uncomfortable (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: