loser

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loser

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 October 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 111881
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About loser : I'm a loser

loser's page activity

Visits<b>wondercat40</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:06pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 7:20pm<b>loeramariah</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 11:15pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 2:16pm<b>gudnylol</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 10:47am<b>iam808014</b> - the 02/08/2011 at 2:10pm<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 4:08pm<b>Twinmill</b> - the 12/18/2009 at 11:29pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 12/02/2009 at 11:47am<b>Meizlizard</b> - the 11/01/2009 at 3:01pm<b>chveya</b> - the 10/19/2009 at 10:11pm<b>bunnyy</b> - the 10/11/2009 at 4:53am<b>mari0958</b> - the 08/14/2009 at 7:07pm<b>jdisher</b> - the 07/02/2009 at 7:06pm<b>blacktiger123</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 2:45pm<b>hoshica</b> - the 06/04/2009 at 3:46pm<b>pyromaniac239</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 12:14pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 11:49am

loser's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

loser's favorite FMLs

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

by rejected / 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

by douchetard / 03/26/2009 at 3:37am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

by toast / 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Work

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

by proudestmonkey / 03/24/2009 at 1:44am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

by SLA / 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML

by birthdayfun / 03/23/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML

by whatever / 03/23/2009 at 2:46am / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

by thisreallysucks2 / 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 9:04am / Malta / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy