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loser
  • Town/Country : London, United Kindon
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 October 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 110472
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About loser : I'm a loser

loser's last visitors

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loser's favorite FMLs

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

#1487277
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49652) - you deserved it (9804)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

#1427967
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13036) - you deserved it (51880)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML

#1423979
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18578) - you deserved it (54626)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by fuckspellcheck (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML

#1315252
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44544) - you deserved it (8634)

On 04/25/2009 at 8:18am - misc - by plasticfantastic - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

#1250407
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51518) - you deserved it (9858)

On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: golden retrievers running through a field and eating from their bowl. My mouth just watered for a dog food commerical. FML

#984041
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40890) - you deserved it (22003)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91501) - you deserved it (37710)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58763) - you deserved it (8848)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

#710815
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86971) - you deserved it (12129)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

#697530
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15827) - you deserved it (81115)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by superstar (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML

#691341
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16819) - you deserved it (81302)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:08pm - animals - by trainE - United States (Michigan)



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