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lorellecaimyth

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lorellecaimyth
  • Town/Country : Éire
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 458
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lorellecaimyth : LLAP
&
MTFBWY

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lorellecaimyth's favorite FMLs

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38345) - you deserved it (8328)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35280) - you deserved it (4843)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42330) - you deserved it (5362)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39961) - you deserved it (5493)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40794) - you deserved it (5728)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55469) - you deserved it (4928)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

#21102110
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41919) - you deserved it (4748)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

#21100295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39282) - you deserved it (16487)

On 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm - kids - by and not even in the good way (man) - United States

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36265) - you deserved it (5261)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

#21083945
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39192) - you deserved it (4722)

On 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by littlefinger (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
187 comments

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32894) - you deserved it (11387)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39510) - you deserved it (7011)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42488) - you deserved it (3770)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)



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