About lorellecaimyth : LLAP
About lorellecaimyth : LLAP
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lorellecaimyth's favorite FMLs
by shtidsfpa / 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 2:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
by todaddy / 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML
by Q / 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by GAGirl1 / 05/01/2014 at 5:29pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
by Shit / 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm / United States (California) / Love
by Sue Ellen / 04/21/2014 at 11:43am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by Taylor / 04/21/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML
by belljars / 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/12/2014 at 1:24am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML
by war_monkey / 04/10/2014 at 8:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML
by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 10:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by derped-out sperm / 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm / Ireland / Kids
by and not even in the good way / 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm / United States / Kids
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at… Today, two months after moving up to Scotland to be with my fiancé, he broke up with me because he… Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he…