lonewolf393

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Offline (the 06/22/2016 at 6:05am)

lonewolf393

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4817
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lonewolf393 : University of Miami Class of 2019

lonewolf393's page activity

Visits<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 2:26am<b>d0hsky0</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 6:15am<b>silverview</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 3:13pm<b>hk2408</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 6:31pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:38pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:38pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:33pm<b>Rocklegend_16</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 8:24pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:35pm<b>Jorgen</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:52pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 1:03pm<b>boomreaperthed</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 10:54am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 2:50pm<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:46pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:46am<b>clair1357</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 3:21pm<b>Psychotique</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 12:35pm<b>skye147</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 8:14am

Fucked!<b>hk2408</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 12:30am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:20pm<b>skye147</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 2:14pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:10pm

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lonewolf393's favorite FMLs

Today, I have to look after my best friend's parrot for a few days. One minute out of the room, I came back in to find out that the parrot had taught my three-year-old the word "slut". Now the two won't stop screaming "slut" throughout the whole house. My wife thinks both learned the word from me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2016 at 3:39pm / Germany (Bayern) / Animals

Today, I was eating breakfast when my little brother goes, "Mommy, what do you do for a living?" and my mom says "I'm a headmaster", and my dad goes, "Oh yeah she is." FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I'm filling in as a secretary. My only job is to answer the phone. So far the phone has rung three times: when I was in the bathroom, when I went to get the mail and when I was shredding papers where there is no phone. Everyone here thinks I am slacking off. FML

by im trying / 06/06/2016 at 4:20pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML

by Fido / 06/06/2016 at 7:58am / United States / Kids

Today, I found out my psycho ex also reads FML. She called me at work, pissed that I'd "publicly humiliated" her on here. I haven't posted about her at all. I'm sure the brick I found thrown through my window a few hours later has nothing to do with her, though. FML

by just die already / 04/24/2016 at 5:55am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drug dealer was the only one who wished me a happy birthday. FML

by boipucci / 04/21/2016 at 9:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, traffic was so bad that I was able to connect to the WiFi of a nearby McDonald's and successfully listen to a 30-minute podcast. FML

by Mcwifi / 04/21/2016 at 1:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked a short girl to prom by making a "You must be this tall to say no" sign. She grabbed a chair, stood on it, and then said no. FML

by anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom finally noticed the joke file I have on my PC desktop called "bigcocklovespussy.jpg". It's just a cute picture of a chicken snuggling with a cat. She didn't actually open the file and just deleted it. She won't believe my explanation and grounded me for a month for "looking at porn". FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2016 at 7:52am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called to see if my bridesmaid's dress was ready. They told me it had already been picked up, the bride's mom picked up the dress and got rid of it because she doesn't want me in the wedding. FML

by buttercup92 / 03/13/2016 at 9:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my aunt's last words to me were, "Don't be an idiot". FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2016 at 8:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally did my laundry after a good few weeks, only to think another washer was a dryer. I just ran my clothes through the wash 3 times, because I was confused as to why they weren't drying. FML

by dumbAssCollegeStudent / 03/03/2016 at 7:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see a doctor because I have been feeling of pressure in my chest. After running numerous tests, I was told I was perfectly healthy and had nothing to worry about. I made it as far as the front door before I collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

by yourekillingme / 02/18/2016 at 11:12pm / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I saw a woman in her late thirties pull out some hair and put it in her food, then threaten to sue me and the restaurant. She also told me no one would believe me, a teenager, when I told her I saw her put it there. FML

by jesuscrip / 02/18/2016 at 1:08am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her little tape recorder. When I asked her what she was up to, she replied in her cute little voice, "I'm recording myself so you'll have a souvenir when I'm dead." FML

by DarkChild / 02/11/2016 at 5:18pm / France / Kids