Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lonewolf393

Online | Search for a member

lonewolf393

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 March 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3513
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lonewolf393 : University of Miami Class of 2019

lonewolf393's page activity

Visits<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:38pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:33pm<b>Rocklegend_16</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 8:24pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:35pm<b>Jorgen</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:52pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 1:03pm<b>boomreaperthed</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 10:54am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 2:50pm<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:46pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:46am<b>clair1357</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 3:21pm<b>Psychotique</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 12:35pm<b>skye147</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 8:14am<b>valerie_273</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 9:25am<b>wsws69</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:40am<b>iPixiee</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 2:11am<b>HorrorJr</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 7:34am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:25am

Fucked!<b>maria95aa</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:20pm<b>skye147</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 2:14pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:10pm

lonewolf393's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lonewolf393's badges

lonewolf393's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out how painful it is to static shock the tip of your dick. FML

#21525225
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12873) - you deserved it (3732)

On 02/11/2016 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by Electro (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was fired. Not only was I fired with no warning, not only was my friend the one who fired me, but I was fired from the unpaid volunteering position I took to help her out. FML

#21516912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19954) - you deserved it (2026)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

#21516668
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20083) - you deserved it (1286)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm - misc - by enya (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, I finished a 2 hour Skype call with my girlfriend, only to realize I was using mobile data. FML

#21515848
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21436) - you deserved it (7044)

On 01/16/2016 at 7:54am - love - by tye61 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML

#21515811
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19357) - you deserved it (7422)

On 01/16/2016 at 3:17am - health - by someone euthanize me -

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

#21515791
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20958) - you deserved it (3623)

On 01/16/2016 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML

#21515750
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19241) - you deserved it (1504)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML

#21515729
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22723) - you deserved it (1311)

On 01/15/2016 at 10:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I arrived at work to find a bullet hole in the window of the storefront we're leasing. Security assured me it had always been there and the glass shards on the floor had somehow been missed in my many vacuum passes and the pre-lease inspection two months ago, so no need to worry or fix it. FML

#21512749
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (1230)

On 01/08/2016 at 1:49am - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I told her that I'd never watched The Lion King. FML

#21509521
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19422) - you deserved it (8204)

On 12/30/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by hakuna_matata (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML

#21502268
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23107) - you deserved it (3029)

On 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm - love - by pregnantapparently (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend jumped into my arms for a kiss. She's done it before, but this time I wasn't expecting it. I fell backwards, straight through my glass coffee table. FML

#21502189
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23217) - you deserved it (1944)

On 12/10/2015 at 8:45am - health - by fucking SUCKS let's do it LIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEE! (man) - United States

Today, my 3 year old daughter's Halloween costume finally got delivered. FML

#21501054
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (1903)

On 12/07/2015 at 9:12am - misc - by princess - United States (California)

Today, some wannabe molester actually used the "Do you know who my dad is?!" line on me as I threw him out of a club. Turns out his dad is my boss's brother. I'm now searching for a new job. FML

#21500663
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25023) - you deserved it (1819)

On 12/06/2015 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: