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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6905) - you deserved it (52499)
On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43596) - you deserved it (19128)
On 07/11/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Well, I financed my own breakup date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36444) - you deserved it (3107)
On 07/11/2009 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46052) - you deserved it (7212)
On 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by 1234 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while working at McDonald's a car full of obnoxious teens came through. They had made a $30 order, and handed me a tin of small change, claiming that on a McDonald's ad they saw that we, employees, liked counting change. I had to count out $30 in spare change during a rush period at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42147) - you deserved it (3179)
On 07/11/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Meow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes you have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37879) - you deserved it (6597)
On 06/12/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got my drivers license suspended until I am 18 for driving without a license. Where was I driving to? My last day of Drivers Ed. The high school where I take Drivers Ed. classes at is across the street from my house. I gave up 3 years of driving to drive 100 feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19293) - you deserved it (69608)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by studentdriver828 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42546) - you deserved it (4310)
On 06/11/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by chuchie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57959) - you deserved it (11006)
On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91254) - you deserved it (4847)
On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I bought a top with some other things. I went to the restroom and had diarrhea, but there was no toilet paper in the stall. I had to use the receipt from the store. I then realized the clerk hadn't put the top in the bag. I needed that receipt to get the top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37606) - you deserved it (9354)
On 05/29/2009 at 1:44am - misc - by suckerrrrr (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51138) - you deserved it (3542)
On 05/28/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by Jeanine (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (72287) - you deserved it (13845)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15674) - you deserved it (164812)
On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48183) - you deserved it (16691)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
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