About lolwutdino : I like to play Super Mario Bro's.
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Today, my mother sold my extensive Star Wars collection, and I cried when I found out. I'm 46. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22600) - you deserved it (18573)
On 12/15/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by Oja1 - United States (Montana)
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33300) - you deserved it (3927)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30964) - you deserved it (2265)
On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad took my phone away. This would be fine if I was 14. I'm 22 and pay for all of my own bills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23367) - you deserved it (3064)
On 10/13/2011 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28134) - you deserved it (6230)
On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (18159)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20965) - you deserved it (5505)
On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28886) - you deserved it (2346)
On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -
Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28886) - you deserved it (2346)
On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47880) - you deserved it (4812)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28441) - you deserved it (1422)
On 09/19/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by redeye (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6145) - you deserved it (44181)
On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States
Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22932) - you deserved it (2209)
On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29391) - you deserved it (3957)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12627) - you deserved it (10260)
On 08/24/2011 at 2:32am - misc - by Trimacle (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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