About lolwutdino : I like to play Super Mario Bro's.
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by leapple / 03/13/2010 at 8:17pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Timmah / 08/31/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 2:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love
Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML
by facepalmshroomer / 02/07/2009 at 6:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by buddy / 01/26/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
- Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm… Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't… Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own…