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lolmyendoff456's favorite FMLs
by Ann / 05/31/2011 at 12:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML
by mrsekko / 05/31/2011 at 8:44am / United States / Health
by OopsKid / 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm / France / Miscellaneous
by trev / 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
by Jess / 05/30/2011 at 11:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
by skigal24 / 05/30/2011 at 10:59am / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
by kingpin9219 / 05/30/2011 at 12:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML
by weddingblues / 05/30/2011 at 12:19am / United States (New York) / Geek
Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML
by hs / 05/29/2011 at 9:59pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Username / 05/29/2011 at 12:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by shouldhavecheckedthelock / 05/28/2011 at 9:56pm / United States (Maryland) / Geek
Today, I asked my kids if I looked good before going to work. Smiling, they told me I looked wonderful. It wasn't until I got to work and looked into the mirror until I noticed my left eyebrow was gone. FML
by tb351 / 05/28/2011 at 7:37pm / United States / Kids
Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML
by mperh / 05/28/2011 at 8:46am / United States / Transportation
by dancer_2014 / 05/28/2011 at 8:44am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by justletitbeover / 05/28/2011 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (London) / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…