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About lolmyendoff456 : Hey :D how's it going? Well I love meeting new people so feel free to message me :)
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27292) - you deserved it (3477)
On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States
Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27391) - you deserved it (1989)
On 11/02/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16887) - you deserved it (28555)
On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7716) - you deserved it (1307)
On 10/26/2011 at 4:58am - misc - by MereLewis95 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27114) - you deserved it (1348)
On 09/19/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by redeye (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (6138)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16784) - you deserved it (3137)
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22881) - you deserved it (3233)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7451) - you deserved it (51302)
On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)
Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30353) - you deserved it (2484)
On 08/04/2011 at 4:30am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (12152)
On 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26472) - you deserved it (2536)
On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23165) - you deserved it (4221)
On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24239) - you deserved it (3440)
On 07/23/2011 at 12:05am - kids - by oliveoyl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to see a movie I'd been waiting months for. A couple of women sat down a few rows in front of me with five infants. The infants cried and wailed throughout. I'm not sure I have any idea what was actually said in any of the dialogue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22659) - you deserved it (1900)
On 07/22/2011 at 7:49pm - misc - by AceGeek (man) - United States (California)
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