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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Mobility
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (5219)
On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36887) - you deserved it (408)
On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22267) - you deserved it (3164)
On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26962) - you deserved it (5683)
On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20167) - you deserved it (1566)
On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19142) - you deserved it (1302)
On 06/05/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18263) - you deserved it (1410)
On 05/23/2012 at 2:47pm - health - by shanxi (man) - United States
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (4402)
On 05/22/2012 at 1:05am - intimacy - by chchboy (man) - United States
Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16757) - you deserved it (1269)
On 05/05/2012 at 3:19am - health - by markzar - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31295) - you deserved it (2035)
On 04/24/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17567) - you deserved it (1121)
On 04/20/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by ohgodwhy (woman) - United States
Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5681) - you deserved it (26884)
On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31966) - you deserved it (1769)
On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got so bored that I ordered my DVD drawer from awesomest to non-awesomest. I need a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11405) - you deserved it (5262)
Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9041) - you deserved it (6175)
On 03/28/2012 at 7:19am - misc - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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