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lollipop77's favorite FMLs
by RayneWolf13 / 07/31/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by lanz4949 / 03/19/2013 at 12:40am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML
by singleandthankful / 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Love
Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm / United States / Love
Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML
by facepalm / 06/05/2012 at 10:48am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
by shanxi / 05/23/2012 at 2:47pm / United States / Health
by chchboy / 05/22/2012 at 1:05am / United States / Intimacy
by markzar / 05/05/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
by anonymous / 04/24/2012 at 2:18pm / United States / Love
Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML
by ohgodwhy / 04/20/2012 at 4:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML
by Quackers / 04/11/2012 at 11:39am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by melonhead77 / 03/29/2012 at 7:46am / Cyprus / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to yet again tell my mother-in-law that I wasn't going to name my unborn baby "Ermintrude" after her late mother. My husband told me to stop being difficult, and that he agrees that it would be nice. FML
by futuremum / 03/22/2012 at 1:14pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Kids