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lolaroxie's FML badges
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lolaroxie's favorite FMLs
Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML
by ouch / 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by OnPlanetVenus / 07/04/2013 at 12:41am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML
by anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 2:12am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek
by VictoriaLeavitt / 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by SadFoxLady / 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals
Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 1:47am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/21/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Indiana) / Work
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
by lez probs / 05/18/2013 at 8:54am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude / 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by earplugsplease / 05/16/2013 at 12:16pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/15/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Love
by Liferuinedforever / 05/14/2013 at 3:13am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Kids
Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML
by forever alone / 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom / Love
by tdrtnlz / 05/11/2013 at 2:25am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…