This member hasn't filled in their description.
lol_ironic_life's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
lol_ironic_life's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
by stifledbyyou / 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by elliekilroy / 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States / Health
Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2010 at 4:28am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids
by divorced / 08/19/2010 at 6:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, while I was in the shower I noticed a short, black hair on my loofa. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Embarassed / 09/10/2009 at 1:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by verysadasian / 07/30/2009 at 10:21am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML
by Stoopid / 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2009 at 10:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
by highleyj / 04/01/2009 at 4:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…