About lizzlegirl : life is a beach n im just playin in the sand.
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lizzlegirl's favorite FMLs
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 3:13pm / United States / Work
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/01/2011 at 8:43am / United States / Love
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Love
by fail / 01/15/2011 at 8:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by ciotter / 01/08/2011 at 3:57am / United States (California) / Animals
by walnutbladder / 01/07/2011 at 4:46pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work
by Username / 12/23/2010 at 9:48am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML
by me / 12/18/2010 at 10:20pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm / United States / Geek
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss was watching taser pranks online, when he said he was going to "get me". We often take turns playing pranks on each other, and I was the last to prank him. Now I'm terrified to move or turn my back on anything other than a wall at work. FML
by MrsKSB / 11/11/2010 at 12:46pm / United States (Texas) / Work
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…