About lizzlegirl : life is a beach n im just playin in the sand.
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lizzlegirl's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
by W1D0 / 08/20/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
by brittbrat4 / 08/13/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Nekro_Kat / 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm / United States (California) / Animals
by indierocklove / 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by loser4life / 07/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by FML / 07/29/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML
by Username / 07/08/2011 at 9:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
by missy / 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm / United States (Alaska) / Transportation
by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health
by Maddie110110 / 06/07/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Texas) / Love
- Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of…