About lizzlegirl : life is a beach n im just playin in the sand.
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lizzlegirl's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML
by duped / 10/29/2011 at 7:32am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by Habit / 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Work
by ikickgingers / 10/19/2011 at 12:49pm / United States / Work
by Mayabie / 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm / France / Work
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 10:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML
by daddoesn'tknowbest / 10/13/2011 at 8:24am / United States / Kids
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 7:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom made me teach my delusional gran web browsing. I barely made it to YouTube before she sneered at me, and told me to "stop pissing about before I smash your face in." Two hours and multiple slaps later, she still doesn't get what a URL is, and I fear for my life. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 8:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by funnymanjoe / 09/14/2011 at 7:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML
by WishIWasAWriter / 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health
by emopoe / 09/06/2011 at 11:11am / United States / Love
- Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys",… Today, my boyfriend and I ordered sex toys online and had them delivered to my dorm room. I put my… Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly…
- Today, I got my first job. I went in to work this afternoon fine, and came out with severe burns on… Today, I was familiarized with cartoon pain when I stepped on a soap in my shower and broke my arm.… Today, I got rejected with the exact phrase, "it could work out, it's just the fact I'm a flaming…