About lizzlegirl : life is a beach n im just playin in the sand.
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lizzlegirl's favorite FMLs
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML
by thyisnothorses / 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
by intheairtonight / 04/25/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML
by beleria / 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard a conversation between coworkers, during which my name was mentioned, then, "and then I followed her around for a bit, but she didn’t do it again." Everyone laughed. I've no idea what I did that was so funny. FML
by What? / 04/18/2012 at 9:15pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm / United States / Intimacy
by mockable / 04/06/2012 at 7:09am / United States / Work
Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML
by hikari_chan_xo / 03/28/2012 at 8:00am / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I was sitting on the bus and as I'm quite short my legs were dangling. Some guy, who wasn't looking where he was going, tripped over my foot and went flying. He and everyone else on the bus glared at me like it was deliberate. The man next to me even changed seats in disgust. FML
by Whoopsie / 02/22/2012 at 10:53am / United States / Transportation
by annoym / 02/21/2012 at 6:49am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm / United States / Work
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
by cieee / 02/13/2012 at 2:09am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, due to a spate of burglaries, I updated the security on my house. Latches, locks, gates, I… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…