About lizzlegirl : life is a beach n im just playin in the sand.
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Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31080) - you deserved it (65755)
On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25906) - you deserved it (66075)
On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23643) - you deserved it (32523)
On 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178070) - you deserved it (61482)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19494) - you deserved it (1098)
On 01/30/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by Ren - United States (Illinois)
Today, the ugliest girl in school walked by me and said "ewwww". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17626) - you deserved it (4751)
On 01/14/2009 at 8:09am - love - by Mr. Shawzy - Canada (British Columbia)
I agree, your life sucks (15525) - you deserved it (4303)
On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15617) - you deserved it (1976)
On 12/04/2008 at 6:16am - misc - by DarkPhoenix - Sent from mobile version
Today, I lost my cell phone. But found it again! And then dropped it in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36535) - you deserved it (15613)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:30am - money - by enjoy -
Monday 20 May 2013
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