About lizzlegirl : life is a beach n im just playin in the sand.
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lizzlegirl's favorite FMLs
Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML
by danmarino / 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by dad / 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML
by Joe / 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Ren / 01/30/2009 at 10:50am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Mr. Shawzy / 01/14/2009 at 8:09am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by james / 12/14/2008 at 8:14am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML
by DarkPhoenix / 12/04/2008 at 6:16am / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…