lizzaveth

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lizzaveth

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 13 June 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 281
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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lizzaveth's page activity

Visits<b>Triceratops4Lif</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 12:01pm<b>LilTiki559</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 11:09am<b>larson15</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 11:03pm<b>mattdlv</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 11:34am<b>Rob2342</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:34pm<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 9:27pm<b>Megan639</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:55am<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 9:29pm<b>Denny1</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 6:50pm<b>oliversutton</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 11:22pm

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lizzaveth's favorite FMLs

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML

by nobrows / 04/06/2012 at 1:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I rented a party bus, which broke down on the highway 45 minutes into the ride. I paid the guy for the whole four hours. He said he was going to flag down a car to get someone to help us. We saw him get into a car and leave. FML

by tim12345 / 07/25/2011 at 12:08pm / United States / Money

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

by Username / 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

by Username / 06/07/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML

by blahblah493 / 05/26/2011 at 12:15am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

by squirrels69ing / 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

by wtfiswrongwithher / 05/07/2011 at 9:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

by fuundmental/// / 04/09/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I learned the hard way that if you're going to pour bleach on bugs to kill them, you need to be prepared for them to fly up and try to attack your face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 12:39am / United States (Maryland) / Animals

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

by dollybabe / 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML

by absentmindedmoron / 09/27/2009 at 11:59am / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Miscellaneous

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

by coolhand / 08/29/2009 at 11:13am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

by whatdoyoudo / 03/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

by addictedtofml / 02/24/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy