lizwriteslove

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lizwriteslove

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 54200
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lizwriteslove : My name is Liz, obviously.
I am currently a senior in high school and I can't wait to graduate.
FV Iced Coffee XX from DD = Love.
I am slightly addicted to FML. I can't stand it when long periods of time go by without new FMLs being added.
Driving to random places is fun, especially when with random people while blasting random music.

Music; Hit the Lights is superrrr.

lizwriteslove's page activity

Visits<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:06pm<b>ILikeBigButts_</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 2:31am<b>sam1507</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:38am<b>companionT</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 3:25pm<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 3:52am<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:07am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 12:57pm<b>magicalprincess</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:29pm<b>dmoz47</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 8:54pm<b>kjblack</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 3:15am<b>thenextdoctor</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 8:56pm<b>designatedfuck</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 1:13am<b>PowerF</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 10:48am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 9:37pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:51pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 4:09am<b>ILIEKGIRLS</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 4:07am

lizwriteslove's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lizwriteslove's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

by MJ3105 / 05/07/2009 at 7:36am / Israel / Animals

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML

by owned / 04/28/2009 at 10:12am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

by david / 04/28/2009 at 10:08am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2009 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

by duuuuude / 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

by StevieMe / 04/08/2009 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

by badmom / 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

by Alex / 03/26/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

by TahRah / 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML

by Ma.Sa.La. / 02/27/2009 at 10:18am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

by batgirl / 11/20/2008 at 7:55am / Love