About lizwriteslove : My name is Liz, obviously.
I am currently a senior in high school and I can't wait to graduate.
FV Iced Coffee XX from DD = Love.
I am slightly addicted to FML. I can't stand it when long periods of time go by without new FMLs being added.
Driving to random places is fun, especially when with random people while blasting random music.
Music; Hit the Lights is superrrr.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38794) - you deserved it (8795)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17482) - you deserved it (54652)
On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7301) - you deserved it (82985)
On 06/04/2009 at 7:35am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39672) - you deserved it (11909)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm - kids - by psychortiz (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was working my job as a waitress near my college. I handed a customer her check, and she noticed that I had added her bill wrong. I apologized, and she pointed to my "student" labeled nametag, asking what I was studying. I said English. I'm a math major. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9360) - you deserved it (31253)
On 06/02/2009 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65919) - you deserved it (163288)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38296) - you deserved it (16773)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:18am - kids - by failbaby (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18273) - you deserved it (58279)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10602) - you deserved it (45248)
On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16812) - you deserved it (62581)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13289) - you deserved it (44882)
On 05/21/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by whoopsiedoodle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12932) - you deserved it (78824)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by morningeyes (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52450) - you deserved it (6446)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (60137) - you deserved it (6122)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13600) - you deserved it (84677)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Friday 24 May 2013
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