About lizwriteslove : My name is Liz, obviously.
I am currently a senior in high school and I can't wait to graduate.
FV Iced Coffee XX from DD = Love.
I am slightly addicted to FML. I can't stand it when long periods of time go by without new FMLs being added.
Driving to random places is fun, especially when with random people while blasting random music.
Music; Hit the Lights is superrrr.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43888) - you deserved it (3504)
On 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm - health - by blinded (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her mom gave me some seasoned cauliflower, which I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my girlfriend's mom, I slipped the cauliflower of my plate and gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8950) - you deserved it (43467)
On 07/05/2009 at 11:23am - animals - by BigBallah93 - China (Beijing)
Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37534) - you deserved it (2186)
On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out why my girlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41931) - you deserved it (6060)
On 07/05/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by wetboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56881) - you deserved it (9494)
On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while going up a ski-lift I accidentally dropped my ticket. The ticket I needed at the top to come back down. I had to hike down the mountain in flip-flops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24374) - you deserved it (10413)
On 07/03/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16705) - you deserved it (36870)
On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38428) - you deserved it (15700)
On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by S4L - Sent from mobile version
Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43118) - you deserved it (3470)
On 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Liz (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40457) - you deserved it (14345)
On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35121) - you deserved it (13676)
On 06/30/2009 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by SimpleSimon (man) - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)
Today, I decided to start running to stay fit. Before I left, I put my cell phone in my sweat shirt pocket, and jumped vigorously up and down and ran around my apartment to make sure it wouldn't fall out. On a bridge, it slides out of my pocket and drops fifteen feet into the water below. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32777) - you deserved it (11069)
On 06/30/2009 at 5:23am - health - by Ginny (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)
Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (37886)
On 06/29/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before but they usually left early. I heard someone in the kitchen and thinking it was my brother, I said "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma responds, "No we're not." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4667) - you deserved it (51198)
On 06/28/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Monday 20 May 2013
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