About lizlaz : I'm Lizzie, I love Dr Who, The Mighty Boosh, Green Day and Manic Street Preachers...
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by Cody / 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by drakx88 / 03/06/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (California) / Health
by Noname / 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML
by oh_mylanta / 03/02/2009 at 4:10am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by stinker / 02/21/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML
by fuckthat / 02/18/2009 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentines Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML
by kolgate / 02/15/2009 at 5:12am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by a genius / 02/12/2009 at 8:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML
by razzmataz / 01/28/2009 at 8:38am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML
by Behemoth2 / 12/14/2008 at 12:15am / Transportation