lizlaz

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lizlaz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 22 February 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4012
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lizlaz : I'm Lizzie, I love Dr Who, The Mighty Boosh, Green Day and Manic Street Preachers...

lizlaz's page activity

Visits<b>zerolight</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 1:43am<b>hunterfish69</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:07pm<b>iRydePwnies</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:56pm<b>assurant</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 8:05pm<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:40am<b>breaking6883</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:59pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 1:46am<b>benxben</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 1:53am<b>yareens</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:38am<b>Damafia</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 8:53pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 3:33pm<b>Reva750</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 1:02pm<b>starcaller17</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 1:06am<b>Sinester69</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 10:09pm<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 10:37pm<b>tiernang</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 8:27am<b>ty4nier</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 2:18am<b>Spetz14</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 2:06am

lizlaz's FML badges

Beginner

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lizlaz's favorite FMLs

Today, I got rear-ended at a stoplight by a woman who had been doing her make-up while driving. She didn't get out to see if I was okay until she had finished perfectly applying both lipliner and gloss. FML

by disturbed / 05/10/2009 at 5:56am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2009 at 7:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera. The principal came in, everyone was going crazy, and the teacher was dragged out of the classroom. He was taking videos and pictures of us dancing. Turns out he was a registered sex offender. FML

by seriously / 04/20/2009 at 7:05pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at a local restaurant when another server's table called me over to ask if I've "ever killed anybody". They informed me I looked like a serial killer. I informed them, of course, that I have never killed anybody. Another customer claimed I scared her child. I was fired. FML

by Bob / 04/14/2009 at 2:13am / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, I was sitting at my computer, listening and singing along to some music. I started singing louder, thinking that I was pretty good. Just then, my mom comes barging through the door in a frenzy saying, "Are you all right? Are you hurt?" FML

by awesome / 04/11/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom had a baby shower. When it was over I walked around cleaning up the trash, when I saw a card sitting on the table with a note to my mom saying "better luck with this one." At the moment I am an only child, and the card was signed from my grandmother. FML

by Tim / 04/09/2009 at 5:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML

by Nottheprettylady / 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2009 at 10:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML

by dumpedattheclub / 03/27/2009 at 11:40pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

by tamponmayhem / 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML

by Noname / 03/08/2009 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous